Strengthening Friendships
Some folks who love to declutter and organize are able to keep up with managing their possessions on a moment-by-moment basis, never needing to dig out from under a pile of stuff. My SIL is one of these people and I first witnessed this when I returned an item to her home one day. She simply set the object on the inside stairway near her front door and, when I left an hour or so later, it was already taken upstairs. Lightning work. On the drive home I recalled something she had told me years prior when she was in college; she did her homework and long-term projects as soon as they were assigned, or at least chipped away at the complicated ones on a steady basis. Why? Because she didn’t like to leave things until the last minute.
Then, there are people like me. Closets are in pretty good order, laundry is usually caught up and important papers are filed in places that make sense but, there are scads of messy spots everywhere. “Notes to self” are found on the kitchen table, computer area and even littering the floor next to the bed. Clothes to iron are hung up behind doors and store returns wait and wait and wait for their day of reckoning. Flylady would call these areas “hotspots”—places that consistently gather to-dos and are not addressed in a reasonable amount of time. What is a Hotspot?
Folks who need an extra “oomph” to get moving on a task, even a task that is valuable to them, are often waiting for that adrenaline rush to overcome their inertia. That’s me. I tend to stall until I feel the call to rescue a spot and then all the juices start pumping and things get done. Now decisions are easy to make and the work flows along until the hotspot is clear. I can continue to live this way because I haven’t gotten into trouble yet, haven’t missed any deadlines or paid any late fees but it’s not a good way to handle a key element in a joyful life—nurturing friendships*.
My main avenues for facilitating friendships are 1) organizing fun times in town with one or more friends, 2) calling people and 3) writing folks. Some day I’ll renew the big job of having people over for meals but I’m not there yet.
Most of the notes to myself that are sitting in my hotspots are reminders to plan fun times, call people or write to them. When I don’t chip away at these important actions on a steady basis, I’m in danger of loosening the bonds I have with friends and family.
After college I lost track of several friends because I took them for granted and didn’t communicate with them. They wrote me but I scarcely wrote them back. Because the Lord allowed us to use search engines to find each other I’m now back in touch with Susan, Kate, Kim and Sandy—after thirty-some years. We’re all rejoicing.
Friendship is a treasure and all you need is a piece of paper and stamp, or an email address, or a phone number to keep it growing. I don’t organize just because it makes me feel good or helps me find things, I do it so I can keep track of and have the time and means to do what’s important to me. My friends are pure gold, gifts from the Lord, and worth every moment spent on nurturing our time together.
*Note: this podcast is a compelling reminder of what life is like when you’re lonely. The most convincing parts are in the second half and, despite the title, it’s not just about guys. Bring yer tissues.
Then, there are people like me. Closets are in pretty good order, laundry is usually caught up and important papers are filed in places that make sense but, there are scads of messy spots everywhere. “Notes to self” are found on the kitchen table, computer area and even littering the floor next to the bed. Clothes to iron are hung up behind doors and store returns wait and wait and wait for their day of reckoning. Flylady would call these areas “hotspots”—places that consistently gather to-dos and are not addressed in a reasonable amount of time. What is a Hotspot?
Folks who need an extra “oomph” to get moving on a task, even a task that is valuable to them, are often waiting for that adrenaline rush to overcome their inertia. That’s me. I tend to stall until I feel the call to rescue a spot and then all the juices start pumping and things get done. Now decisions are easy to make and the work flows along until the hotspot is clear. I can continue to live this way because I haven’t gotten into trouble yet, haven’t missed any deadlines or paid any late fees but it’s not a good way to handle a key element in a joyful life—nurturing friendships*.
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| Look closely at the multi-hued braids |
Most of the notes to myself that are sitting in my hotspots are reminders to plan fun times, call people or write to them. When I don’t chip away at these important actions on a steady basis, I’m in danger of loosening the bonds I have with friends and family.
After college I lost track of several friends because I took them for granted and didn’t communicate with them. They wrote me but I scarcely wrote them back. Because the Lord allowed us to use search engines to find each other I’m now back in touch with Susan, Kate, Kim and Sandy—after thirty-some years. We’re all rejoicing.
Friendship is a treasure and all you need is a piece of paper and stamp, or an email address, or a phone number to keep it growing. I don’t organize just because it makes me feel good or helps me find things, I do it so I can keep track of and have the time and means to do what’s important to me. My friends are pure gold, gifts from the Lord, and worth every moment spent on nurturing our time together.
*Note: this podcast is a compelling reminder of what life is like when you’re lonely. The most convincing parts are in the second half and, despite the title, it’s not just about guys. Bring yer tissues.
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