Time and Attention
Wondering what to give away—the kid’s bed that’s no longer used or the mauve 1980’s placemats you unearthed in your kitchen drawer? How about your vinyls from the 1970’s or the white go-go boots you kept that now pinch your toes?
Maybe it’s the perfectly-tailored party clothes your mom made you from complicated Vogue patterns, with fabric so soft and full of memories that you wonder how you can possibly hand them off to a vintage clothing store. Or, perhaps you are dawdling over the ceramic Bunnykins baby cup that once stored real diaper pins on your kids’ changing table.
Even that rarely played baby grand sitting in your hallway.
As difficult as these objects may be to give away there is something that is often much harder to pass along to others, whether they are family members, friends or strangers. Yet, it is a valuable asset that doesn’t cost you any currency, coins or credit.
Time and attention. Oh my, there it is. Who has a smidgen of time to spare and who can muster up any sustained attention in this busy, crazed world? Giving either of these treasures away really is dear.
But they are so valued by others. Let me tell you about it.
I heard a story about a lady who was asked to stay overnight at a family’s home. Her task would be to sit by the mom’s bed and keep watch, so the husband and adult kids could get some sleep. The mom's last days had been many and drawn out and the family was worn to a frazzle. Could she come over around 11 PM the next night? She trusted the judgment of the mutual friend who asked her, that she wouldn’t be expected to do something she was unable to do, so she said yes.
Just before she left her house to go the family she remembered that the mom, a friend from church for many years, loved a particular Irish hymn. This gave her an inspiration so she printed out the lyrics and tucked the paper in her purse.
During the night she sat next to the sleeping woman, who was heavily sedated and scarcely moved at all, held her soft, warm hand and spoke to her. The sleepy family members often came into the room for a few minutes to see their loved one, then stumbled back to their bedrooms.
Late into the night the lady quietly pulled out the paper with the words to the hymn and sang a stanza or two at a time to her friend, very softly so she wouldn’t awaken the resting family.
The lady left in the morning, tired but thankful to have been there. A few hours later the mom--surrounded by her family—left for Heaven.
Here is a tale about another family. A young woman knew that one of her childhood neighbors was waiting for the Lord to take him home. The neighbor was elderly but definitely full of spunk and still running the family from his recliner “throne.” He loved to read but that pleasure was denied by his declining eyesight, yet his hearing was perfect and his famous story-telling abilities were very much intact.
Early on a busy weekend morning the young woman drove to the neighbor’s home and visited. She sat on a footstool near his favorite chair and asked him questions about how he met her father, about his business and other parts of his life—all subjects he loved to expound upon. His wife sat quietly nearby, taking it all in.
Toward the end of the visit the young woman sang them a hymn. She had prepared for this; it was her gift.
I know that the people in these two stories gave more than a few minutes of time to the recipients, but the amount of time often isn’t what’s important. Sometimes, just a few minutes of time and attention are all the gift another person needs. Sometimes you can almost instantly communicate to another person that you value them, that they are important, that you hope they will understand that their choices matter in light of eternity—by a few words or the message on your face.
And, even if you don't consider your singing voice "worthy" of public display, your song can lift the heart of the listener.
A gift of your time and attention is valuable; you have it in your hand to give away.
“Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he”
Sydney Carter
Maybe it’s the perfectly-tailored party clothes your mom made you from complicated Vogue patterns, with fabric so soft and full of memories that you wonder how you can possibly hand them off to a vintage clothing store. Or, perhaps you are dawdling over the ceramic Bunnykins baby cup that once stored real diaper pins on your kids’ changing table.
Even that rarely played baby grand sitting in your hallway.
As difficult as these objects may be to give away there is something that is often much harder to pass along to others, whether they are family members, friends or strangers. Yet, it is a valuable asset that doesn’t cost you any currency, coins or credit.
Time and attention. Oh my, there it is. Who has a smidgen of time to spare and who can muster up any sustained attention in this busy, crazed world? Giving either of these treasures away really is dear.
But they are so valued by others. Let me tell you about it.
I heard a story about a lady who was asked to stay overnight at a family’s home. Her task would be to sit by the mom’s bed and keep watch, so the husband and adult kids could get some sleep. The mom's last days had been many and drawn out and the family was worn to a frazzle. Could she come over around 11 PM the next night? She trusted the judgment of the mutual friend who asked her, that she wouldn’t be expected to do something she was unable to do, so she said yes.
Just before she left her house to go the family she remembered that the mom, a friend from church for many years, loved a particular Irish hymn. This gave her an inspiration so she printed out the lyrics and tucked the paper in her purse.
During the night she sat next to the sleeping woman, who was heavily sedated and scarcely moved at all, held her soft, warm hand and spoke to her. The sleepy family members often came into the room for a few minutes to see their loved one, then stumbled back to their bedrooms.
Late into the night the lady quietly pulled out the paper with the words to the hymn and sang a stanza or two at a time to her friend, very softly so she wouldn’t awaken the resting family.
The lady left in the morning, tired but thankful to have been there. A few hours later the mom--surrounded by her family—left for Heaven.
Here is a tale about another family. A young woman knew that one of her childhood neighbors was waiting for the Lord to take him home. The neighbor was elderly but definitely full of spunk and still running the family from his recliner “throne.” He loved to read but that pleasure was denied by his declining eyesight, yet his hearing was perfect and his famous story-telling abilities were very much intact.
Early on a busy weekend morning the young woman drove to the neighbor’s home and visited. She sat on a footstool near his favorite chair and asked him questions about how he met her father, about his business and other parts of his life—all subjects he loved to expound upon. His wife sat quietly nearby, taking it all in.
Toward the end of the visit the young woman sang them a hymn. She had prepared for this; it was her gift.
I know that the people in these two stories gave more than a few minutes of time to the recipients, but the amount of time often isn’t what’s important. Sometimes, just a few minutes of time and attention are all the gift another person needs. Sometimes you can almost instantly communicate to another person that you value them, that they are important, that you hope they will understand that their choices matter in light of eternity—by a few words or the message on your face.
And, even if you don't consider your singing voice "worthy" of public display, your song can lift the heart of the listener.
A gift of your time and attention is valuable; you have it in your hand to give away.
“Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he”
Sydney Carter
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