Do You Like Being Retired?

Does everyone ask you how you like being retired?  Since June I've been asked me this question several times a week and I haven't found a succinct yet satisfying "elevator" response as of yet.

It's heavenly getting up early and knowing that you aren't late for anything, that I can sit instead of stand to eat my cereal and I won't have to balance sipping coffee while drying my hair or pulling on my socks in order to head out the door on time.

So much more is getting done--outside windows washed for the first time in a decade, hitting the home treadmill more frequently and donning dirt-caked clothes day after day, then skipping out the door to work in the yard.  Noticing that the hues of the autumn leaves are more vivid this year than ever before and that the chickadees and cardinals really do hang around when I remember to fill the feeders.  So much savoring of life, now, even though I really tried to do it prior to retirement.

And going places with friends!  Checking out the coffee shops and art galleries in nearby towns,

Ashland, VA--Caboose Restaurant

taking a Chinese cooking class at a friend's home

Remember to choose firm tofu for frying

and braving the new pedestrian bridge hovering so closely over the Rivah--twice.  T. Pot Bridge

It's becoming more apparent to me that many people can easily keep busy in retirement, but that it's also pretty easy to become lonely.  This might be even more possible if you worked in a friendly, chatty environment like I did.  Most of my day was spent talking--asking questions about the students, problem solving, bringing possible solutions to meet the students' needs and following up.  Most of the teachers and therapists I worked with were excellent communicators and there were so many of them to engage with, especially since I traveled to multiple buildings each day and throughout the work week.

Those everyday relationships are no longer in my life and I'm so glad that I have long-standing, non-work friends for sharing ideas and adventures together.  The other advantage is that I've lived in one town for almost forty years and have been with many of the same church friends all that time.  There's a huge network of support in good times and rough times.

One insight that I've had since leaving work in June is that I need to initiate 80-90% of the social events with friends if I want to keep our relationships vibrant.  When I ask someone to go on an outing with me, in town or away for the day, almost everyone says yes.  People will join me if I ask them, but they need to be asked.  I don't believe that they are just coming along to avoid offending me by declining the invite; they really seem to be enjoying themselves.  And we have fun year after year.  But only about 20% of my friends initiate our "play dates."  When I've asked folks where they'd like to go "this time," they usually say, "Anywhere you like."  Friends just wanna have fun, right?

I'm a little taken aback by this, but realize that I must continue to be the mover and social shaker in order to spend time with my friends.  They're worth it.

New-to-me statue at Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens, Richmond VA